Monday, August 15, 2005

One of the great mysteries of life...

Why the hell do white people love Honey Walnut Shrimp so much? Yesterday, dining with my family at a fantastic Chinese restaurant in San Francisco, I noticed that every non-Asian party in the restaurant had ordered Honey Walnut Shrimp (although I am often inclined to exaggerate, this is actually true). Don't get me wrong. Fried shrimp is fucking fantastic. I'll eat that any day. Candied walnuts are also great. But when you take fried shrimp and you roll it in a sauce that resembles a bodily fluid, I'll pass. Perhaps this "special" sauce is the reason the dish is so popular, and maybe this is also the reason Fear Factor is still on the air. In order to find answers to these troubling questions, I consulted the most comprehensive source of knowledge in the universe, Google. The wise and almighty Google directed me to About.com's Chinese food section. There, I was greeted by:
Rhonda Parkinson, My Guide to Chinese Food
Hmm...well that doesn't seem very authentic. But I bet she spent a bunch of time in China or something right? "Rhonda has a Master's degree in Political Science from Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia. In the cooking department, she has taken several courses in Chinese and Asian cooking."
Well thank God there's a true expert out there to tell us all about Chinese food. She's taken not one, not two, but an unspecified "SEVERAL" courses in Chinese cooking. By the sixth grade, I had taken SEVERAL sex ed courses, which I'm sure, qualified me as an expert on having sex.

I'd bet you anything that Rhonda Parkinson and her family can't get enough Honey Walnut Shrimp.

2 comments:

starchmouse said...

No no no, they were all eating "walnut prawns with mayonnaise sauce" - I maintain that honey walnut prawns are something different entirely. Right? I dunno, hell, I'll eat mayonnaise any day. Well, maybe not slathered on deep fried prawns. On deep-fried potato sticks, now there's a different story.
And anyways, think of all the nasty looks we must have gotten when we ordered that god-awful salted fish fried rice. Hell, *I* wanted to kill us at that moment...

meko said...

oooh i love salted fish fried rice.. but i gotta say. i also love that honey walnut shrimp stuff. it IS mayonnaise. but then again.. i'm one of those asians who don't like rice, so...